What Is Narcissisism, anyway?
Narcissism is like that friend who's a bit too into themselves – you know the one! It's a personality trait that involves excessive self-love and a constant craving for attention and admiration. We all have a little bit of narcissism in us – who doesn't enjoy a compliment or two? People with narcissistic traits have a tendency to talk about themselves, boast about their achievements, and be obsessed with their appearance. However, behind that mask of confidence often lies deep insecurity. It's like they're trying to hide their self-doubts by putting on this flashy display of self-importance. Not everyone with a few narcissistic traits has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) - it is a diagnosed mental health condition where these traits mess with a person's ability to function well in their everyday life and relationships.
"Kinda Narcissistic" vs. Narcissistic Personality Disorder
what's the difference?
Let's dive into the intriguing world of narcissistic traits and Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). I'll break it down for you, my friend.
Imagine you're at a party, and you come across two individuals. One has a few narcissistic traits sprinkled in their personality, like a dash of confetti in a cupcake – it's there, but it doesn't ruin the whole experience. This person might occasionally boast about their achievements, fish for compliments, or take a few extra selfies. Sure, they have their moments of self-importance, but who doesn't? We all like a bit of attention now and then.
These people fall somewhere along the narcissism spectrum, where they display some narcissistic traits, but they aren't the dominant features of their personality.
On the other hand, we have our star of the show: the one with Narcissistic Personality Disorder– impossible to ignore. This individual's entire personality revolves around their insatiable need for admiration and validation. Their ego is vast, and they believe they're entitled to special treatment – all the time.
While someone with narcissistic traits might acknowledge the perspectives of others and show some empathy, individuals with NPD struggle in this department. Empathy is like a foreign language to them, though they can pretend to be empathetic if it serves them in the moment.
We all have our moment of self-centeredness, right? But the key difference lies in the impact on daily life and relationships. The person with narcissistic traits might sometimes be a bit focused on their own accomplishments, but they can still maintain relatively healthy connections and function in society. Conversely, the person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder tends to create chaos everywhere they go. They eventually alienate friends and loved ones with their constant need for admiration and their inability to see anyone else's point of view. When they lose those people - they just replace them with a new source of narcissistic supply.
So the difference between being "kinda narcissistic" and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder is like that between a sprinkle of cupcake confetti and a glitter bomb explosion. A few narcissistic traits are a normal part of the human experience, but when they reach NPD levels, you're dealing with a whole new level.
Inflated self-esteem or a grandiose sense of self-importance or superiority
Craving admiration
Exploitative relationships (i.e., manipulation)
Little to no empathy
Identity is easily disturbed (i.e., can’t handle criticism)
Lack of attachment and intimacy
Feelings of depression or emptiness when not validated
A sense of entitlement
Can feel like others are envious of them, or may envy others
You must have at least five out of nine to qualify as NPD.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) proves to be one of the most challenging mental health conditions to treat, largely because individuals afflicted with this disorder tend to deny any personal issues, despite experiencing distress and impaired functioning.
As a result, many individuals with NPD avoid seeking help, allowing the condition to persist without intervention.
However, in some cases, individuals may seek assistance due to coexisting issues often observed alongside NPD, such as depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, or substance use disorder.
While medications may be prescribed to manage symptoms related to these coexisting conditions, there are no specific medications recommended for treating NPD. Instead, psychotherapy takes precedence as the primary treatment for NPD.
It's All About Them: The relationship feels like a one-person show. They dominate conversations, constantly seek attention, and make everything revolve around their needs and desires.
Lack of Empathy: Your partner with NPD seems incapable of caring about your feelings, needs, or experiences. It's like they're living on a different planet where emotions don't exist.
Grandiosity: They believe they're special, unique, and above everyone else. Their accomplishments, real or imagined, are exaggerated to the nth degree.
Exploitative Behavior: Your partner may take advantage of others, including you, to fulfill their own needs. They cross boundaries or manipulate situations for their benefit.
Lack of Accountability: Taking responsibility for their actions? Nope. They often avoid admitting fault, deflect blame, or even gaslight you into thinking you're the problem.
Emotional Rollercoaster: Communicating with someone with NPD is confusing. They go from love bombing (excessive affection) to devaluation (criticism and belittling) in a second.
Superficial Relationships: They have a wide circle of acquaintances but lack deep connections. Their relationships feel shallow, as few long-term friendships that survive their antics.
Sense of Entitlement: They expect special treatment, and get upset if they don't get the VIP treatment they "deserve".
DSM-5 Criteria For Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Significant impairments in personality functioning
Excessive reference to others for self-definition and self-esteem regulation
Exaggerated self-appraisal may be inflated or deflated, or vacillate between extremes
Emotional regulation mirrors fluctuations in self-esteem
Goal-setting is based on gaining approval from others
Personal standards are unreasonably high to see oneself as exceptional
Personal standards are unreasonably low based on a sense of entitlement
Often unaware of their own motivations.
Empathy: Impaired ability to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
Excessively attuned to reactions of others, but only if perceived as relevant to self
Over- or underestimating their effect on others
Intimacy: Relationships are largely superficial and exist to serve self-esteem regulation
Mutuality constrained by little genuine interest in others' experiences and predominance of a need for personal gain
Grandiosity: Feelings of entitlement, either overt or covert self-centeredness
Firmly holding to the belief that one is better than others, condescending toward others
Attention seeking: Excessive attempts to attract and be the focus of the attention of others
Admiration seeking
The impairments in personality functioning and the individual’s personality trait expression are relatively stable across time and consistent across situations.
The impairments in personality functioning are not better understood as normative for the individual’s developmental stage or socio-cultural environment
The impairments in personality functioning and the individual’s personality trait expression are not solely due to the direct physiological effects (e.g., a drug of abuse, medication) or a general medical condition (e.g., severe head trauma).